I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize