the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
