you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
