he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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