when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize