Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
These tits shall not be calmed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
