she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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