if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
