Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
