My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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