I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
