White coat. Heels.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
