I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
