What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
