Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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