I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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