she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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