3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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