i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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