Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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