:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
