Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
