im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
