I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
