Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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