They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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