she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize