i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
50% drunk capacity currently
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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