Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
