conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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