she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
