How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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