Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ugly people sure do ruin things
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
