I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
