glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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