talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
