someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
