playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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