I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
