when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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