i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
not ubering you a puppy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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