he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize