i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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