he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And then my night got REAL pukey
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
