dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
