Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
