so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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