I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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