then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
