I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
