FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
my liver is dry heaving
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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