I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
