what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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