5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
