Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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