Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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